What will you do at your first "Hollywood" Con?

Cons come in all shapes and sizes. If you know where to look, many small ones are free to attend (but rarely free to the vendor). The best place to find those are your local library. Others are short, themed, one day cons that are still comparatively inexpensive. But the behemoth that eclipses them all in size, span, importance and (unfortunately) cost is the "Hollywood" Con You know the ones I mean. These are the ones that are meccas for Geeks across the country and host A, B and C list Hollywood stars and starlets of past and present shows.

So you arrive. You take the shuttle from your hotel room or hoof it in from the north 40. Next, you stand in line for an hour with 50,000 of your closest friends to enter the exhibition hall. Once there, Alice, you pass through the looking glass. Wonders abound as far as the eye can see. Dazzling cosplay entertains...the booty of a thousand universes lies before you. And your mind goes into overload.

The general wisdom is to pass through the entirety of the hall, just collecting business cars. Then, on your second pass, you select your swag and deposit it into the bag you have brought along just for that purpose, then leave. It is important to do this in that order. If you buy to much treasure early in the day, you will be hauling or dragging your booty for the rest of the day. I have a different suggestion.

Follow step one as listed above. You will notice on the card that everyone has a Website and/or store where they sell their products. Take notes on where you can find whatever delights your eye - make notes on the card and then - buy nothing from the con. Yes, that is what I said: nothing. Consider it a "scouting mission" in which you acquire knowledge. Create instead intangible things of value: memories of friends and events. Photos of cosplayers are free (but be polite and ask first) and are a high value "share" with friends on social media

My advice is to purchase only those things which you cannot buy on line: custom artwork, books with author's signatures (I do that for fans) and other one of a kind items that can only be had there. Number one among those are celebrities' autographs. They are less expensive than a photograph and you will be able to talk to the object of your crush for a minute or so (prepare something to say in advance so you do not sound like a blathering fool). Another great experience is to attend discussion panels with the stars. They cost too, but give you the greatest exposure to the celebrities involved.

Photographs with stars is another E ticket, but much more expensive. The good news is that most cons allow up to three people to pose with the star. That means for the 'True Believer' a photo with Stan Lee would be only $37 each instead of $110. The photos may seem a lot - especially after already paying for the con ticket, transportation, food and lodgings, but it is the most enduring.

We will not forget our photos with William Shatner, John Barrowman (he was a trip!) Brent Spiner and Levar Burton. Their handlers rushed us through with all the enthusiasm of a middle school gym coach and there is no time to talk - but pictures, as they say, last forever. My wife did get lucky with Shatner. She asked if she could put her arm around his shoulder. He turned to her ans answered with a kirkian half grin and tilt of the head: "Why, certainly." A forever memory.

I do want to make clear that I am not suggesting you not buy from vendors; quite the contrary. Just buy from the vendors after the show. Most do experience a bump in sales the week or two after a successful convention and recognize its source. Make friends with vendors. Tables are very expensive: at San Diego a single table is $1,000. That's a lot of books to sell (for me about 125) and doesn't include other amenities needed to endure the week. Remember most of them are small business men and women who have to purchase all their materials in advance, and take the risk that it will sell.

Best of all, if you have a friend who is a vendor - offer to help them out. In exchange for helping them set up and manning or womaning the table so they can take breaks. You might get a free ticket, avoid all the lines getting into the hall. Best of all you'll have a home base to sit and stash your stuff instead of carrying it all day.